The Four Poisons of the Mind – Lessons from Kum Do and Deep Survival

A Dark Night in Kuwait

The heat in Kuwait was suffocating, even as the sun set. The air felt heavy, and the water in my canteen was just as hot as the sand beneath my feet. It was June 2003, and I had just landed, preparing to enter Iraq. Our unit had trained for one mission—running an Enemy Prisoner of War Camp—but upon arrival, everything changed.

We were now being told we might be conducting foot patrols in some of the most dangerous neighborhoods of Baghdad, with soft-top Humvees and inadequate gear. No armor. No certainty. Only the knowledge that we were going in blind.

That night, as I lay on my cot under the weight of oppressive heat and even heavier thoughts, fear took hold. I could not shake the certainty that I would not return home. The pain of never seeing my young bride again was almost unbearable. The fear of the unknown, the helplessness of it all, gripped me.

But by morning, something had changed. I had faced the fear. I had wrestled with the worst possibilities, and in doing so, I found a kind of inner steel. If death was coming, then so be it—but I would not meet it in a state of paralysis.

This moment, this dark night of the soul, was my first real encounter with what warriors, survivors, and leaders throughout history have had to overcome—the Four Poisons of the Mind: fear, confusion, hesitation, and surprise.

The Mindset of Survival and Leadership

Laurence Gonzales, in his book Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why, explores why some people endure the worst conditions imaginable and come out alive, while others succumb—often despite having the same training, tools, or physical strength. He argues that survival is primarily a mental battle. The ability to regulate emotions, maintain clarity, and act decisively is what separates those who make it from those who don’t.

This aligns with an ancient lesson from Kum Do, a Korean martial art that teaches students to recognize and overcome the Four Poisons of the Mind. Whether on the battlefield, in leadership, or in crisis situations, these mental obstacles determine success or failure.

Breaking Down the Four Poisons of the Mind

1. Fear: The Paralysis of Action

Fear is the first and greatest enemy. It can cloud judgment, cause hesitation, and in the worst cases, leave you frozen when decisive action is needed.

In war, fear can keep a soldier from moving forward, from engaging, from trusting his training. In leadership, fear keeps people from making bold decisions, taking risks, or confronting hard truths. The only way to overcome fear is to face it head-on. By sitting with the worst possible outcome, as I did that night in Kuwait, you strip fear of its power.

2. Confusion: The Loss of Clarity

When chaos erupts, confusion follows. Without clarity, people make poor choices—hesitating when they should act, reacting instead of thinking.

In survival situations, confusion can lead to deadly mistakes. In leadership, it creates stagnation and disarray. The antidote is simplicity and preparation. Train for uncertainty. Develop a clear framework. When the moment comes, clarity will follow.

3. Hesitation: The Death of Opportunity

Knowing what needs to be done but failing to act is often worse than making a mistake.

On the battlefield, hesitation can be fatal. In life and leadership, it leads to missed opportunities and regrets. The best way to eliminate hesitation is to build confidence through repetition—training, drilling, and making decisions in controlled environments so that when the moment comes, action is second nature.

4. Surprise: The Failure to Adapt

Nothing ever goes according to plan. The enemy is unpredictable. Life is unpredictable.

Surprise is inevitable, but those who survive and succeed are those who quickly accept reality and adapt. Rigidity leads to failure; adaptability leads to resilience.

Bringing It Full Circle

That night in Kuwait, I faced all four of these poisons in one form or another. The fear of dying. The confusion of a mission change. The hesitation of not knowing how to prepare. The surprise of finding myself in an entirely different kind of war than I had expected.

By morning, the fear had not disappeared, but it no longer controlled me. I had made peace with the unknown. That resolve carried me forward, not just through combat, but in every difficult challenge I’ve faced since.

The Four Poisons of the Mind are not just for warriors or soldiers. They show up in leadership, in personal struggles, in the hardest moments of life. But like any poison, they have an antidote—discipline, preparation, and a warrior’s mindset.

The question is: When your moment comes, will you be ready?

How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything

Every day, we face challenges that test our resolve and shape our character. The idea behind “How you do anything is how you do everything” reminds us that every small decision matters. For leaders, this mindset isn’t just about achieving success in the boardroom or business negotiation—it’s about adopting a warrior ethos in every area of our lives. Just like a soldier in battle, our actions and habits reflect our inner strength and commitment to the mission.

Imagine the discipline of a warrior preparing for a mission. Before stepping onto the field, a he trains hard, perfects every move, maps out ever waypoint, and pays attention to every detail. When you greet a client, negotiate a deal, or even handle everyday tasks with intentional focus, you are enacting a daily ritual of excellence. Aristotle once said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” These words reminds us that each small act, when done with intention and discipline, forms the habits that define our legacy.

Most battles aren’t fought on a physical field but in weekly team meetings, business negotiations, and kitchen tables. Every email you send, every decision you make, every moment spent with your family is a step in your mission to lead with integrity and honor. Like a warrior, you must be consistent and focused. It’s the everyday moments—the timely follow-up, the honest conversation, the kind gesture—that build trust and set you apart as a leader. By bringing a warrior’s spirit to these moments, you turn routine tasks into opportunities to shine.

For those who walk the path of faith, the warrior spirit also means standing firm in your beliefs. In times of challenge, remember that your strength comes from a higher purpose. Your work is not only a reflection of your professional abilities but also of your commitment to serving God and others. Every decision, big or small, is a chance to honor that calling. When you approach your work with the determination of a warrior, you inspire your team, your peers, and your family to aim for excellence in all they do.

At Ethos Leader Louisville, we believe in nurturing leaders who embody this warrior spirit.

We see our role as equipping men to face every challenge with courage, integrity, and determination. Our community is built on the idea that every action—no matter how small—matters. When you take the time to do things well, you not only accelerate your business but also demonstrate your commitment to leaving a lasting legacy.

Remember that every task is a chance to build a habit of excellence. Whether you’re making a tough decision or lending a helping hand, do it with the heart of a warrior. Your consistent efforts, like each steady step of a soldier, build the strong foundation needed to succeed in all areas of life.